Kiki can't stop thinking about tiny rituals, the importance of journaling & that one Le Labo scent

Into the mind of "the girl in the long middle."

Kiki writes about becoming. Her Substack is dedicated to women in their 20s, but the insights and questions it shares are timeless and universal. We are all forever becoming, and Kiki’s spirit suggests the joy and the living is found in the process. Enjoy this little glimpse into her mind.

What’s the best compliment you received recently?

Someone told me they love my brain. I’ve been thinking about it ever since. It’s not the kind of compliment you forget.

What’s the last thing you read that really stuck with you?

Joan Didion’s essay “On Keeping a Notebook.” I keep coming back to the idea that we write things down not always because they are objectively important, but because they felt important to us at the time. I think that is such a beautiful way to understand journaling, memory and the private archive of being a person. Sometimes a note is not proof of what happened. It is proof of what you were paying attention to.

A product of any kind you’ve been appreciating lately?

Le Labo Lys 41. I’m very drawn to objects that feel like tiny rituals, and scent is one of those things that can make a normal day feel more intentional. Lys 41 feels soft but still memorable in this very intimate way, like a small private signature.

I love that perfume can become part of your memory without needing to announce itself too loudly. Not because it transforms you into someone else, but because it makes you feel a little more familiar to yourself.

What super specific thing are you obsessing over lately?

Intentional consumption, but in a very romantic way.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between buying something because you want the object and buying something because you want the version of yourself you think the object will create. Like the journal as discipline, the perfume as being remembered, the coat as a new identity. I don’t think wanting beautiful things is shallow, but I am trying to be more honest about whether something belongs to my actual life or just to the fantasy of who I want to be perceived as.

A quote that’s meaningful to you?

“The way you spend your days is the way you spend your life.”

I think about this one constantly. Especially on the days where I’m doing things that feel obligatory rather than chosen — the thesis, the emails, the admin. It’s not a comfortable quote. It’s the kind that makes you look at your Tuesday and ask whether it’s actually the life you want. I find it clarifying in the way that slightly terrifying things are clarifying.

Any songs or albums on repeat?

Justin Bieber, unironically. Specifically “Confident,” because sometimes you need a song that makes you feel like you’re walking into a room with far more attitude than you actually have. I’ve been on a full Bieber train lately and I think it’s because his music unlocks something so specific for me, this feeling of being younger, lighter and less burdened by needing everything to be meaningful.

Who do you really admire right now?

Erifili Gounari, who writes Crystal Clear on Substack. She built something real by writing with total confidence about the things she actually believes — no hedging, no performing uncertainty she doesn’t feel. There’s a directness to her work that I’m actively trying to learn from.

What are you working on right now and why?

I’m building still becoming, a Substack for women in their twenties who are figuring it out in real time, through personal essays that layer psychology and literature onto the specific feelings that don’t have names yet. I started it four months ago and it’s already at 24k subscribers, which tells me the in-between is a place a lot of people are living and not enough people are writing about honestly. ⚘