Every choice is a confession
On why aesthetic choices are actually very important.
The word “aesthetic” is usually associated now with shallow Instagram trends, but I think our aesthetic choices actually reveal our deepest values.
If you like plastic versus wood, if you’re drawn to chrome or brass, to minimalism or maximalism, to sharp edges or soft curves, it’s telling you something about who you are at the core.
I think these preferences, big or small, aren’t random. They come from whatever part of yourself that decided a long time ago what safety looks like to you, what home feels like or what truth feels like. These little things you choose to surround yourself with make your invisible inner world visible.
For example: someone who prefers sleek glass and metal might be subconsciously wanting to signal wealth or modern luxury. Someone who chooses wood might be more interested in tradition, authenticity, warmth.
Or maybe not. Maybe the glass/metal person grew up in a household where everything was chaotic and unpredictable, and sleek furniture makes them feel more calm and in control. Maybe the wood person grew up in some sterile suburban house where everything was beige and perfect and suffocating.
We often don’t even recognize these things for ourselves, it’s our subconscious directing us. Which means taste isn’t superficial. Even when it seems like it is, when you’re just scrolling through an online store barely paying attention, buying something based on a random post you saw. Or picking up the first option at Target because it’s the cheapest and easiest thing available in the moment. Or buying a six pack of t-shirts you wear every day without thinking. You’re making a choice.
When you buy a lamp or a coffee mug, you’re choosing a worldview. You’re saying “this is what I think matters to me, this is what I think will last, this is what I think deserves to exist in my life.” You’re making a hundred tiny, personal declarations about your values every time you buy something and wear it or put it in your home. You’re choosing efficiency or practicality or craftsmanship or hope or equality or nostalgia or privacy or beauty or safety.
We move through the world making aesthetic choices constantly, curating the environments we live in every day, whether we think we care about it or not. But it does matter.
Our aesthetic taste and choices are a representation of our inner landscapes. They’re a way of understanding who we are without words or explanations. It only requires paying close attention to what choices we make, and asking ourselves why. I find this exercise incredibly rewarding. It’s a step toward understanding who I am and what I want when I’m not running on autopilot.
I think a lot of us don’t reflect on these things as much as we should. Why do we reach for one thing over the other? Why do we find some things beautiful and the other thing ugly, or just right? What does that say about what we need beyond our aesthetic world? How can we keep deliberately choosing THAT?
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P.S. This is NOT an argument for over-thinking and over-curation. In fact, I believe we should be doing the opposite. Letting your curiosity decide for you, instead of algorithms, trends and ads, gets you more in touch with your interior world. I have more thoughts on that in this essay:
→ It's time you reclaim your right to idiosyncrasy
And also this one:
So well said. C.S. Lewis also put it perfectly: "Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different than it was before."
"When you buy a lamp or a coffee mug, you’re choosing a worldview. You’re saying “this is what I think matters to me, this is what I think will last, this is what I think deserves to exist in my life.” You’re making a hundred tiny, personal declarations about your values every time you buy something and wear it or put it in your home."
For some of my life it was more "this is what I need and can afford"